Saturday, September 4, 2010

EKG, Echocardiogram and a Quick Pity Party

Yesterday, Emilie had to have an EKG and echocardiogram.  Nothing new, just tests that are done prior to each chemo treatment.   As she was having her echo in the darkened room, while happily watching Hannah Montana, I was having a pity party for us without the cake and balloons.  I wondered why this child of mine had to go through cancer and why I had to sit and watch her heart working on a monitor.  In the last three months, I have seen images of practically every part of her body.  Really?? I thought the only ultrasound images that I should have to experience are those during pregnancy.  As the tech did her job, I quickly left our pity party and realized that I was witnessing a perfectly designed heart.
A heart made by the God who loves Emilie very much!
A heart that has endured horrible cancer meds.
A heart that has endured a lot of sadness.
A heart that loves others.
A heart made by God!

I thought of my "Emilie" pregnancy and how I loved hearing her heart beat at each doctor's visit and how I loved seeing her little body in the ultrasound images.   While pregnant with Emilie, I had a favorite song by Steven Curtis Chapman call Fingerprints of God.  The lyrics perfectly matched my feelings and since I'm not that great with "words", I planned on using the lyrics on a scrapbook page documenting Emilie's life in my belly.  Never got to the scrapbook page, but since this blog is our new goes!
Never has there been and never again
Will there be another you
Fashioned by God's hand and perfectly planned
To be just who you are
And what He's been creating
Since the first beat of your heart
Is a living, breathing
Priceless work of art
And I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece that all creation
Quietly applauds
And you're covered with
The fingerprints of God



Eva said...

I don't consider that a pity party. You don' have to be strong 100% of the time. I know you want to be strong for Emilie and for your boys but I hope you also have a place {a person} with whom you can be weak and with whom you can share all your fears. God bless.

Unknown said...

Oh, that is an ultraound that you can celebrate time and time again! What precious baby, that has become such a beautiful young lady of God